Apr 27 2008
It’s full of bees
I’m willing to bet you’ve never seen stupidity like this before:
Scientists at the Roslin-based firm Global Bioenergetics think disturbance to bees from mobile phones, radio signals, wi-fi and microwaves is disrupting them with devastating results.
Oh no! It’s electrosmog!
This little report in The Scotsman is such awful, transparent, witless advertising for some useless snake oil that I’m honestly gobsmacked it could ever have been published.
The scientists are trying out a new device, called a Bioemitter, that transmits electromagnetic waves to provide a stable environment and reduce stress for the bees in their hives, boosting their immune system.
By strange coincidence the scientists1 have just the thing to solve all your bee-related problems! (It can even work pigs and chickens!) They use electromagnetic waves at particular frequencies2 to boost the bees’ immune systems and kill off parasites. It’s almost like magic: it must be very advanced technology.
But what’s this down here, right at the bottom of the article, after all these winning statements about how much good this Bioemitter can do?
Now [the company] is trying to secure funding to carry out trials on bees using the device.
Yes! That’s it! All these claims are nonsense! They have no idea if this thing works at all. (And given the absurd nature of the claims, I think it’s easy to guess the outcome of any rigorous trial.)
To round things off, why not mention a scientist? Any scientist will do!
Ms Murray said: “Bees are so representative of the whole ecosystem. Einstein said we have only got five years to live without the bees. I believe this is evidence that everything we have done to our environment is coming to a head.”
Ah, where would an article on good beekeeping be without mention of that famed theoretical physicist beekeeper Albert Einstein.
Hey, do you think they would pay me to try the Bioemitter on some of my patients? It sounds wonderful, boosting the immune system ‘n’ that. I’m sure it could enhance people’s lives no end. Indeed, where would we be without the Bees?